Review 2

July!! And a contender for best gig I've ever been to -- Ash -- at The Duchess

In a crazy hot venue, sneaked my way to the front, and being so light, spent half of the gig not actually with my feet on the floor!!! Haha, that was crazy. Falling second to that, a hospital radio fundraising gig at Stereo... oh, and York Peace Festival.

Thanks to the hospitality of Christian and Elaine, fun band hero night and poker nights - as well as some great nights out featuring Zumo, Ali and Clare - and a night in Stone Roses belting out Indie anthems!

It's worth pointing out, should I read this in 30 years time, that England's World Cup early exit was dismal and included the usual mash-up of bizarre under-performing and a blatant disallowed, over-the-line goal... oh and the Germans. The South African World Cup as a whole though was great, as mostly was the passion of the England fans over here.

I got an IPhone. Also, my favourite film of the year = Inception. Wow.

At the radio station, my Sunday show ran out of steam. Simply due to the fact that, aside from special guests, I was usually in the studio completely on my own -- and I learnt I was very bad at this - and needed someone , anyone to be in the studio with me - in order to function really well and put across a great show.

With this in mind, I switched to Wednesday nights - where I currently present a 2-hour show - the first hour features requests.

It differs from my previous show, as it is more upbeat, less spiritual, less reflective and more 'in the moment'. It often has a theme for the song choices too. I work really hard at show ideas, concepts, preparation and lots of fun special guests!! I thrive hard at creating a very professional, buzzy , heat-of-the-moment show while thoroughly enjoying every moment and making time to accommodate and feature friends in the studio. Currently, I have a team of 7 that come down and walk the hospital wards getting requests for the show. One guy writes theatre reviews and another helps with his immense footy knowledge lol. Another great thing about doing Wednesday nights is that we can watch the footy game while the show is on, and also I can report on the scorelines in the big games - again giving it that real in-the-moment feel. Furthering myself and breaking new ground - albeit with hospital radio - is something that's really important to me.

Whilst working at the dullest job on earth (The Crown Prosecution Service), I had another three interviews - all of which I failed to get - CPP, Great Rail Journeys and Azlan again.

An unusual and surprisingly very touching episode occured one night, when I googled an old school pal Jonathan Walker - only to find out he was an amazing - like truly amazing - street busker in Leeds and Liverpool. I caught up with him and re-connected the old friendship. Does re-connected have a hyphen? Hmm, I don't think so. Reconnected. There we go, I have reconnected the word reconnected.

Yes, it was wonderful seeing what a great guy he's become, and also touching because his voice and music are amazing, and because there was something about what he's doing - busking on the street every day - just him and his guitar - that resonated with my own life massively.

So onto my love life in 2010.

Ok so now that's done, onto friendship and four friends I haven't mentioned yet, who are reading this and have been there in 2010.

Zumo (Mr Z. Juice lol ) - thanks for your great friendship in 2010 and here's to more in 2011 - from new years eve literally.

Jim, who has probably paid me the most compliments of any person in my entire life lol - and offered a very close friendship - including a trip to the panto!!, a day out in Scarborough when it was freezing cold and the waves were crazy, and a journey at midnight to the North York Moors to sit on a car bonnet and look at the stars.

Lexi - the most genuinely caring person I've ever met - who's shared a beautifully true and unconditional friendship, calmness and support through 2010, as well as coffees, beers and countryside... everything a best friend should be about.

And Paula - with whom I've had the nearest its come to a holiday this year - visiting Liverpool, Manchester, Blackpool, Castle Howard, Hawkshead Park, Fountains Abbey, Chester, Widnes - ok shouldn't have included Widnes - sharing weekends and laughter - and more than anything a feeling of being really alive, being loved, having a soul-mate, and mattering.

Back to my love life, and apart from one average forced half-date with a cellist that didn't go very well!!! haha, there has been none. I'm okay with this though, as I'm only 30, and I think the important thing is that I'm still growing spiritually.
Not growing height-wise, that would be stupid.

Sitting in on John Hodgson's Minster FM show was a highlight, as I am keen to work for Minster FM in the future. Pub of the year has to go to the Old White Swan aka The Mucky Duck, where I have spent many hours drinking, quizzing, seeing Samaritans friends and eating sausages. LOL It really is my favourite pub.

I've had some good therapy this year - and a really good therapist - which has seen me become more understanding and aware of my massive anxiety and has really helped. It's pretty personal obviously so it's not one for the blog here - but I feel, even though I've spent about £1000 on it, that it's been of great benefit.

It was the year 2010 when Rich Pauer got himself a lovely girlfriend - a thoroughly-deserved little miracle - in fact the guy probably deserves it more than anyone i know :-)

As the year went by, I became more and more focused on my next big challenge: The Great North Run - 13 miles - a half-marathon - obviously a massive, massive challenge. I stepped up from my usual 3 mile distance and made my runs gradually longer. It was a really new feeling doing long runs - huge segments of time spent running and thinking - I inspired myself by excitedly planning out new routes and finding a new running partner. When the day came, I was focused and determined., and I did it - with a time of 2 hours 13 minutes of which I'm very proud!! I then became ridiculously wet, tired and lost somewhere in the North-East.

Sadly, since then, due to the cold weather, I haven't kept the running up as much as I would have liked to have done. In fact, aside from walking, I haven't done any exercise for ages. Oh, I mended a puncture.

I'm, completing my third year at York Samaritans, which I love very much. Whenever I doubt my own life, I remember that things aren't just about me, and I think about how enriching it is to help others. I never tire of being there on the phones and helping people, just by listening and caring. Helping others is something that's really easy to bring a reward if you let it.

I have been a Team Leader there this year too, which has been interesting and a new experience for me - as well as helping out at information and selection events and being branch leader on Christmas Day :-)

My day job finished at the end of October, with an end as flat as the job itself. I know I'm partly to blame for that. Still, at least it finished at the end of the month. Just like in February. So that gave me the wonderful feeling of turning over a new leaf at the start of a new month.

Unemployment was at first hopeful - i'd always found employment quickly in the past - but soon mixed the following emotions - despairing, scared of having no finances, unknown, weird (yeh, it definitely felt weird), pressured to find something, unsure as to the right approach or how I should spend my days and consequently critical of myself. And lack of shaving, if that's an emotion.

But in between that, it also brought a feeling of great freedom, relaxation and telling myself to make the most of the free time. Being unemployed has also given me the chance to spend quality time with my Nan, as she is cut off by the Big Freeze.

Since being unemployed (almost two months now), I've been living off jobseekers allowance and housing benefit. I've only had two interviews, and turned down some terribly paid jobs. The second interview I had, I got some incredibly negative feedback about my personality and approach - I've accepted it, cos I figure it was just one of those days.

At one point deep into december, I accepted a very poorly-paid job in Harrogate. I felt pressured into accepting it - like pressured to find something. The more I thought about it, the more I figured I'd made a wrong decision, so I rang up on the morning I was meant to start and cancelled it. I was scared of getting into a mess - with all the travelling and the terrible pay. Mind you, that morning was terrible - I thought like I was having a breakdown or something.

During the last few weeks, and the crazy famous winter of 2010!! (which I have largely loved!!!! - the deepest snow I've ever known!!!), things have come my way to keep me really occupied.... A series of special guests for my radio show - including theatre actors, meeting and interviewing the York City players and a visit to the Archbishop's palace to meet and record a message from John Sentamu - Wow!

Getting involved with a big press drive for York Samaritans and speaking on the local radio stations about it, passed the time nicely too.

Lots of York City games - and two more 30th birthday parties towards the back end of the year - a surprise one for Ben and a christmassy one for Chris. It's staggering at these events, whilst surrounded by great friends, that there are about 12 couples and then me and Smith who are single LOL. Most of the couples are (appear) really happy too, and it was great to see Neil and Leanne's place where they have settled in Copmanthorpe.

When my friends Pete and Helen had their baby recently, it was pretty special for me - cos I got to hold and feed a baby for the first time!! Surprisingly it didn't feel that weird - though I must admit to imagining it being me one day.

Time for two weird facts of the year - i guess two unusual claims to fame....

1.) I helped significantly with Jeremy Kyle Confronts The Porn Industry on ITV. It was set in my bedroom in London. Seriously. I am also proud of the message put across, despite most of the programme content being massively biased towards porn being evil, as we expected it to be. It is a baby-step :-)

2.) Really weird claim-to-fame. During the Gamu Nhengu (X-Factor) scenario - at the time she was front page news - on the night when journalists surrounded her house but no-one was allowed to get in to get that all important first interview --- On that night, she was chatting to me on the Internet via Twitter. It sounds far-fetched, but let';s say I am almost certain it was her - without going into boring details about how I know it was her, she paid me a great compliment on the quotes page of my Web site. Very surreal Friday night that was.

York City produced a memorable victory over Rotherham - and the best game I've seen for ages!!! - I've also been getting a lot more into York City and football in general during the second half of 2010 - and am to be given an opportunity of commentating from Bootham Crescent in 2011, so I've been preparing myself for that too.

Last but not least, Christmas Day this year was very special for me. Some of you know about my awkward childhood and the mental hell I went through....

Yesterday, on Christmas Day, I reconnected with my brother for the first time since our childhood. This was a really special thing as growing up, it felt like we didn't have each other as brothers - and so now - for the first time - it feels like I have a brother.

Merry Christmas.