110,700 words

Been writing tonight for the first time in over a month! Wow!!!! I stopped when I was training to be a tour guide.

It feels good to be back, and I've written the introduction of Griff, a friend of Claire's.

He appears for just two scenes that are currently planned and the second one is very emotional.

Tonight, I've done the introduction to the first one, which is pretty dramatic - lots of shouting etc.

Oh another thing I plan to do - is cos the novel is set in York - i plan to use my tour guide knowledge to set the scenes and history and as a background to the walking scenes :-)

110,000 words

110,000 words and another milestone. That scene with Claire is as good as finished now. And it's really good cos it's one I've been wanting to write for a while to fit in.

There was a stage where I was thinking of forfeiting the female character because I had lots of plans to write for her but hadn't been able to write much. However recently that's been changing and I've been able to fit in some of the bits I've been trying to write for a while.

Spent the evening writing the novel

I've spent the evening writing the novel, and working on a further scene featuring Claire.

The structure of the book is really shaping up nicely.... There are kind of 9 inter-twining storylines now, around lots of monologues and other bits and pieces. The entire book has now been divided up into these 10 categories so I can work with it easier.

Afternoon Editing - Now All in YWriter5

ok so i've spent the whole afternoon working on the novel and now the whole of it is in Ywriter5, where I am able to manipulate the scenes, chapters and characters and plan it easier. I'll miss working with the massive Microsoft Word document which at its peak reached 312 pages in a Size 14 font. It became really hard to manipulate and plan though, and I was always preparing for this next stage. I also got an error I have never seen in Microsoft Word before - An error came up saying something could not be performed because the document had too many spelling and grammatical mistakes!!!

Evening of writing = hard work

Yesterday was fun, but it's been hard work tonight on the novel.... Still writing and determined to finish. I've spent the entire evening writing.... A few people have asked me if they can see the whole lot i've done so far... i'm gonna try make this available by the end of the year, even though I don't expect to be finished by then - as my target at the start is still my target now to finish - the end of 2013.

Full Afternoon Novel Session - Now in yWriter5

I've spent an entire afternoon working on the novel. Have made some great progress, and it's so much fun what I've been doing.... I've chosen to use yWriter5 as a software package to structure my book and plan it, as it was free to download.... It enables me to sort the book into chapters and scenes, map it out and keep track of which pieces and which characters fit where..... Currently I have uploaded and laid out 97,000 of the 109,000 words... This gives 71 scenes - which are currently divided up amongst 10 categories. It also gives me lots of amusing stats .. For instance: The most popular word is "the" which I have used 4051 times. I have used the word "jumper" 9 times. It actually tells you how many times you have used every single word!!

109,000 words

Although I'm out of employment, I'm writing about the world of employment ... The main character has a dull office job (not sure where I got that idea from)... haha i'm not just writing about it in a dull way though, that would be stupid. 109,000! yay!

Mental Illness and stuffs

ok, i'm gonna blog and blog and blog and blog and blog..... It's going to be a lot of waffle...

and i'm going to get a drink first...

ok sorted.

told you it was going to be waffle.

The question of why blog... (by the way I am literally writing off the top of my head for an hour or so).. The question of why blog comes up a lot... There's LOADS of reasons... But my favourite one is just to create stuff that is well.. cemented.... so its always there... and when you are gone, it is a piece of you that's always there... A timeframe from your life that can be re-lived... In the same way that photos capture moments.. Only the photo doesn't capture what you were thinking about, and it only captures a millisecond.

I've never blogged for an hour before... it's like some kind of marathon. Not many people read my blogs but that doesn't matter to me really.. and there are 5 people who read them avidly LOL and that is more than enough.. and something I'm very grateful for. Though even if no-one read the blogs I would still make them... That is the essence of creativity for me.. making things for yourself.

I'm gonna talk about mental health now... mental health disorders and issues... because it is everywhere...

It's in the news today and I've been fortunate to talk on BBC radio today on behalf of York Samaritans, and try and spread some awareness.

DEPRESSION is the one in the news today... There's all kinds of different disorders, you know... Today I was researching the radio slot and reading a forum and people had things like "constantly itching discorder" and "can't stop buying things disorder" .. I dunno, they were probably made up titles...

Oh who's texting me, while I'm trying to write an hour blog... how rude!

Today Depression is in the news, cos basically Geoffrey Boycott is a twat. Well, thats not news obviously (he's always been a twat!).... But the story goes like this... An England cricketer pulls out of the tour citing depression.. (fair enough) .. Geoffrey Boycott goes to the press... and says some of the following things abuot his "team-mate": (this is from the Metro)

"Boycott said he had never had to worry about depression in his career because he had been a ‘better player’.
He added: ‘I’m very surprised but he must have been reading my comments about his bowling. That must have upset him because it’s obviously too much for him at this level.’"

It closes with.....

Boycott, who played more than 100 Tests for England, told BBC radio he did not ‘understand depression’.

haha that's very clear....

I don't really think I need to clarify the illness... but I will do quickly by scribbling down the notes I took before I went on air.... "Hard to admit due to other people's perceptions.. can be perceived as admission of defeat or weakness - which can be hard especially for guys... Often because you can't see it, people can perceive it as not real.. or put it down to lazyness, simply feeling down or just generally being lethargic... Often people will look down on your or treat you differently when obviously thats not what you want...i.e. JUDGE you... Depression is very very common within our race (though admitting is less so, due to the stigmas... a stigma which is often deepened when people don't understand)

Anyway, anyway, anyway... on to my point..... and this goes with Depression but goes with so many things....

If someone tells you they are suffering, all you have to do is listen and not judge.

It is funny that if someone falls off their bike, hurts their leg and then comes into work, everyone listens... "where did you bang it?" "ooh, let's look at the bruise" etc etc.... Listening, finding out, trying to understand.....

With mental illness, that tends not to happen. Instead, what tends to happen is that people hear the information, ask no questions (often through fear really)... and instead of trying to understand, simply arrive at the conclusion "I don't understand".... Instad of simply trying to find out or understand.

I think i've said 'understand' a few too many times.

Geoffrey Boycott, on hearing that his team-mate is suffering, has chosen not to find out what's behind it or even, by the sounds of it, approach his fellow cricketer, but has instead used the time to go to the press and talked about him, without knowing a thing about the subject matter.

Ulimately, if you don't understand something, then listen and try to learn to understand.

The whole stigma of talking about mental illness is because of people's inability to LISTEN and simply accept. The woman on the show before was lucky... when her daughter got diagnosed, she was there to listen to her daughter phoning at all hours of the day. Many people have no-one at all to turn to... simply because they are afraid to tell others, because of the stigma attached.

I'll link the subject onto myself... I don't have depression.. I have an interesting range of mental disorders (sometimes it's actually quite hard not to fall into a category these days)... I am also very very lucky that I ahve more than enough support if I ever want to talk about stuff....

Here are some of the actually quite fascinating things I have (to SOME extent)... I was gonna say suffer, but I don't like to see it as a suffering..... it's more just parts of my life I have learnt to accept and even embrace....

DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER... This is the one that fascinates everyone so I thought I'd put it first!!! It used to be called MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER. IT's very real, but sadly is often misinterpreted or seen in a bad light.... This is because often extreme cases are focused on in viewer-hungry TV documentaries... cases where people spend all day talking to each other with all their different 'people' inside them inter-acting... Mind you, it's important to stress that, for those people, that is very real, and I can see how it happens.

Anyway, I have it to a lesser degree.. and what it means is that, because of excess pain when I was younger, my brain kind of split... and part of me is still the age it was when it split - so I think about 2 years old!!! So part of me actually genuinely thinks like a 2-year-old.. This can cause problems when I'm tired for instance.. but also I am so grateful for having this because it gives me a wonderful insight into the world.. there are so many great things about seeing the world from a child's point of view....

If you're reading this and it sounds far-fetched, I can understand, but it's very real, and simply how the brain shuts off and "splits" when it is faced with too much trauma - hence multiple personalities are created.

EXTREME ANXIETY - Ok, this is the one thing that affects me the most... and is something which will continue to do so for my whole life. My anxiety is simply very high much of the time, sometimes crazily so! At the top end it's panic attacks.. physically it's breathing, tenseness etc... I've had therapy for coping techniques etc...

PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder).. from early childhood sexual trauma.. covers a vast range of fears and mind-states...

SOCIAL ANXIETY - Ok, this is one I really want to cover here because it's something I haven't talked about much before, even to some of the closest people to me.. Despite being very socially confident in most situations, I can surprisingly revert to being socially anxious in certain situations....

When I was younger, this social anxiety was with me almost all the time.... in fact it bordered on SELECTIVE MUTISM at school..... in other words, when I was at Infant School, I barely spoke and only usually interacted when responding to someone.

Thankfully (due to people) I was able to get over and cure this gradually as I got older.... to the point where now, it's the opposite and I'm really confident socially........ Except... in certain situations, where I suddenly revert back to how I used to be.

This normally isn't a problem in my day-to-day life.... but sadly, it is the main reason I lost my last job.. last week. It's worth pointing that I really didn't like the job anyway, so in some ways it was a blessing.

Anyway... getting back to the point.... In my final week and a half in the job, I became more and more quiet, withdrawn and anxious socially to the point where it came across as really weird... well to my colleagues anyway.......

Then without a single person asking if i was okay (yeah, that annoyed me!) .. out of the blue, I received a phone call from the employment agency telling me not to to go back and they came up with a made up reason to get rid of me (they told me the workload was no longer there)

The boss or no-one at the company spoke to my face about things. Not once. However, people did a lot of gossiping behind my back... Including much which I was aware of - (how horrible is that!!)

Of course, the nature of temporary work is that you can just be let go at the drop of a hat... and told not to come back in... But I'd been told I would be employed until at least the end of July when the job would be advertised internally or maybe externally.

Anyhow..... after everything, it was a relief. I didn't make a friend there, and felt intimidated and gossiped about and really didn't fit in... And I'd started dreading every day.. which really isn't a good thing.

So in that respect it was a relief.

The truly great thing now... is that... although I'm on the dole (signed on Monday)... everything in my life... all the events, all the PEOPLE, everything I do.... is what I choose to do.. and everything is POSITIVE.....

if negative places or people cross my path I don't have to go there.

Workplaces sadly are the source of a lot of discomfort for many. If you have a steady job where you don't mind going to work each morning, be really thankful, and appreciate what you have. It's the one place where you really can't choose those that surround you... and those you have to spend eight hours a day with....

Anyway, moving on, I'm back on the dole and looking at.... hopefully... a change of career direction......

I've spent the last 9 years (oh my god!!!!) working in offices.... I've been very lucky that most of those years, I've had jobs that I've enjoyed... since coming out of university and finding the first one as quickly as possible, just to get into some employment.

So now (although still considering finance work), I am going to look for work in the tourism industry here in York.. and possibly some retail work, although I'll see how things go. I've taken things relatively easy this week - giving myself time to get over the knock from the previous job, and space to clean the house, have nice proper meals etc.

Blog is nearly over....

I've now been for four runs in training for the Hospital Radio run event in August or September. Fairly gentle runs, but it's great to keep fit. I'm gonna run again on my own today.

I'm still commentating from the football ground - 6 wins out of 6 from the box - If City win their game in hand, they'll be just one point off the play-off positions so its going to be a very very close finish. There's 6 home games left and 3 away ones in a very short space of time.

Tomorrow, I'm commentating versus Histon... surely the smallest club I'll ever commentate on... A little village in Cambridgeshire somewhere.. then after EARTH HOUR.... i'm spending Saturday night at the Samaritans branch doing my favourite thing in the entire world..... HELPING OTHERS :-)

Wow, I really have been typing non-stop for an hour... probably should go look for a job :-)

Goathland and Ghosts

Well a few things to catch up on in this blog.

More York City success - a great 2-1 win over Gateshead making it 4 out of 4 from the commentary box for me, and putting us ever-closer to the play-off positions in this fascinating season for us.

Increased the running with a 2.4 mile run, and this week hope to do a little bit longer again.

Took my Mum to the theatre Friday and how she enjoyed it.

Two things I really want to talk about though.....

Yesterday was one of my favourite walks I've been on. We set off from Goathland and walked a route of around 12-14 miles - across the face of the Moors .. (if the moors have a face) .. almost the whole way to Staithes.... and back round through Littlebeck.... Wonderfully barren and remote and isolated, yet also in other places very pretty, picturesque and full of nature. The picture is of a fire which occured on the path we were meant to take. Obviously a controlled fire, though it meant we had to take a wide detour!

The other thing I want to blog about is what happened to me last week. My guests on the radio show were the people organising York's first ever ghost festival. Fascinated by the subject of ghosts, I asked them some playful questions off-air, such as if they thought the radio station might be haunted. To which they replied they had sensed things in the library!!!

Which led to them (and their ghost-hunting equipment) calling for any spirits or presences to make themselves known. Now, I'm massively skeptical when it comes to all this, and it was a really good bit of fun (if a bit scary).

However, one thing did happen which really freaked me. On my own speech where I asked for anyone present to make themselves known, one of the women told me that she was feeling someone. She asked if I knew anyone called Nigel,, because someone called Nigel was there, holding the left hand side of his head.

I told them I knew a Nigel, though he was alive.

It was a bit freaky, but didn't mean anything until I got home.

That was when I remembered my father's cousin Nigel died when he was only in his 50s. This happened just a few years ago.

So the following day, I asked my Mum how he died and she told me that he got hit by a lorry :-(

This is very very freaky... especially considering I don't know many people who have died.. so if it was coincidence, it was a massive one!!!!

Anyway, my conclusion is..either....

a) it was a massive coincidence.

b) ghosts/spirits exist. Aaaaaaahhh. I already believe in souls, connections etc so this isn't something I'm totally dismissing.

c) They researched my family history before-hand??????

Indians, Mud and Buzz

helloooooooo time for a blog update.... and to catch up with what i've been doing. The blog serves as a great diary for me,... Sadly, I can#'t always put everything on a public blog which is a shame - i wish i could post more about feelings and personal stuff but i guess thats just the way it is ... still it's good to share as much as i feel i can.....

to re-cap the past two weeks.... i sank into a big depression a couple of weeks ago... which thankfully thanks to friends, support and time, i am coming through....

i find the biggest thing that helps with these things is to keep a real awareness and see the wide picture... and also to take great attention to the paths of the lives of others...

It was a huge effort to commentate on the game on the Tuesday but i managed it, despite not being able to hit my huge amounts of research before-hand....

The home game against fleetwood was the most important game i've commentated on so far... and it's now 3 wins from 3 games for me!!!! I must be a lucky omen!!! with fleetwood being the team we were trying to catch at the bottom of the play-off zone, it was a real important six-pointer... Again, a great massive pleasure to be able to commentate on it.

On the Thursday, Paula and family visited York - it was nice to see them although short and a bit rushed - that and the fact I was still really down.

On the Friday night, I went to a Cowboy party!!! Lexi's 30th birthday!! I was a bit nervous cos I hate dressing up haha.... but it was a laugh.

Saturday, I was out for over 10 hours -went to see To Kill A Mockingbird at the Theatre Royal then enjoyed a meal at the City Screen, stood looking over the River Ouse and talking for ages, before deciding to investigating the Park Inn, whose reflection we were staring at in the river. For a Saturday night, it was a nice place for me and James to sit and talk about everything under the sun until... well until there was no sun i guess.

Last week, someone from work kindly gave me 2 complimentary meal tickets for the Jinnah Restaurant - the new one which has opened on Cumberland Street - the street with the dungeons on... That was lovely, although I upset my stomach by risking some of the really hot stuff - haha i am silly!! whenever, i have the hot stuff, I always have to have a jug of water and take a big gulp after every mouthful and it makes people laugh haha....

We did our first run on Wednesday!!!! This is exciting and is getting me back to a good fitness level. We did 2.3 miles (i think) and plan to increase the distance every week. It was funny cos we'd decided to run out of town along the river (clifton/marygate way) .. It got really dark, and the ground started getting muddier and muddier.... As I was leading the way at this point, it proved very amusing as I was slipping and sliding about.. until I ended up in a big puddle so we thought it was best to walk for a bit!

I've had some fun radio shows.... Lately, some people have made really lovely comments about my show too... including Florence who is my number 1 fan and calls me each week to say how much she loves the show and for a chat.. That's what it's all about of course.

Thursday, I played snooker and Friday I stayed in watching the developments in the Libya situation!!!

Last night, was a two-pronged night... Had fun playing Buzz, with Christian, Elaine, Pauer and his missus.. it's a really good laugh.... then needed to be there to support Lexi through a difficult time from midnight for a bit.

Blog over - back to the laundry...

To Kill A Mockingbird

Whilst the studio was empty, I decided to take some photos of the newish hospital radio studios in all their glory. Sorry its a bit geeky. And the wonderful old vinyl players and CD players are out of shot to the right there.

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I'm reading about Harper Lee, the author of To Kill A Mockingbird. I find it fascinating to read about the personal lives of those who create beautiful masterpieces. Generally, in my case, I find they tend to be eccentric, individualist, emotional, often troubled, and shy or reclusive from public life. Recluses or semi-recluses whose work I have idolised include J.D.Salinger, Harper Lee, Rollo Armstrong, Erik Satie and Caroline Aherne. I use the word recluse very loosely indeed - and in these instances, meaning either shy from the public eye or talked about as being a recluse.

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To Kill A Mockingbird is one of my all-time favourite novels since reading it at school. Last Saturday, I went to see it at the theatre and this morning, I watched the film made of it, which features Gregory Peck. It's so moving in so many ways - Often remembered as a book about overcoming racial prejudice, the morals, metaphors and quotes work on many more levels. I love also, how it's power - the power to touch you, make you think, re-consider, make you cry - is almost ALL in the words.

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Harper Lee, who wrote the book in 1960 is still alive to this day. I was told she was a recluse (like one of the characters in the book) so I had to Wikipedia her, but it isn't really true. She just doesn't speak in public - however appears to have a close circle of true friends, including Gregory Peck who named his child after her... LOL.

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Very interestingly, the book is very much based on her own life. More so than I thought. Her father was a businessman very similar to Atticus, her childhood friend, Dill was based on her real best friend as a child - and the recluse who lived over the road is based on a real guy who really did creep out at night and leave presents in the tree-hole for the two children.

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Every time I look at the author of a great piece of art, I find they are writing their truth, near enough. Like they say, there is nothing more beautiful than the truth.

Commentating

To bring the blog up to date, I've had a nice gentle weekend this weekend. Saturday shopped for birthday presents and running gear, sorted out a mess at the bank, listened to the footy and then went out in the evening for drinks. Today, went to Clare's for a nice roast and have spent the evening frantically cleaning the house.

I want to talk about my new commentating role.. but first to catch up on another couple of things.

1.) The job I am quite settled in now and it's going okay - and above all, it feels great just to have employment in this day and age - I know I am lucky.

2.) A couple of weekends ago, I enjoyed a great trip around some of the sights of York for Residents' Weekend... Firstly visited York Dungeons' (we were the first people inside lol)... It is fantastic - a lot better than I thought it would be - and the series of guides that take you through it are excellent.... The top of Cliffords' Tower, which I've done before - great view over York... And the Army museum - which is right in the centre of York and I had no clue it even existed - and its massive!!!

I'm loving the new commentary role for Hospital Radio - commentating on York City's home games - and right now it's my favourite thing in my life - as well as the commentating, I'm enjoying preparing before-hand - simply because I love reading about football!! So far I've done two games - 60 minutes in the first one, and a full 90 minutes in the second one (with a co-commentator of course - we switch around to share it)

I've also been lucky enough to commentate on 2 wins! The second one being a memorable 4-1 win over Wimbledon. The next game is this Tuesday - against Fleetwood who we are chasing down for the play-off position so it's going to be a really big game!!!

I am hoping to do a good enough job so that I can commentate on the further 5 games in March and the 3 in April before the season ends (unless we get into the play-offs!)

As for the role itself, it's really really enjoyable - getting to watch the games from a great vantage point whilst genuinely sharing my excitement and emotions with those listening in the hospital. And of course, it fulfils a childhood dream.

This week is really busy and I'm getting a bit stressed out over it already - and on how I'm going to fit everything in!

Monday I prepare for the commentary, Tuesday I commentate, Wednesday I have my show and we're hopefully meeting in the pub to plan our training schedule for the run, Thursday I'm really really hoping to get off work - so that in the morning I can catch up on sleep and then Paula is visiting in the afternoon and evening :-)

Friday is Lexi's 30th birthday which involves dressing as a cowboy and barn-dancing/ceilidh-ing!! Should be a lot of fun!!! I'm looking forward to it, although a bit stressed about fitting everything in this week!!!

Finally, I have started doing stuff to the Web site www.yorkhospitalradio.com - long overdue!!!! I'm putting weekly updates on there - 3 are on already.

Dalby Forest

Fallen trees. The photograph comes from the trip to Dalby Forest last weekend. On Saturday, there was a Met Office warning for severe gales and a Met Office warning for heavy rain - however, there was only the occasional spot of rain, and even more amazingly there was no wind whatsoever. After being prepared for a battling walk against the elements, in fact there was for most of it complete silence - a miracle after two days of crazy winds.

In fact, the winds of the previous two days brought down so many trees (on top of some deforestation), that it was truly incredible. As we trod a popular path through the forest, the entire path was laden with recently-uprooted trees - so the walk became a fun scramble.

Altogether we walked for 6 hours and probably around 12 miles. I'm walking with Andy and Lexi who are good friends, and we all love walking and being out in the peace of the countryside.

In addition, we have planned to walk most months and I'm really looking forward to these. Future walks include the Howden 30 (30 miles!!!), possibly two of the three peaks..... and the big one which is the Lyke Wake Walk.... This is my BIG challenge for the year - it is billed as the 24-hour walk - and although I think it is more likely to take around 20 hours, it's still going to be a massive challenge. The walk takes you from the western edge of the moors - over by Northallerton and the A1!!!!! to Ravenscar on the coast!!! and so it takes you along the top of the moors.

In addition to the walking, me and my Wednesday team at hospital radio are going to start running each week - building up to September - when we're going to do a long charity run - we haven't clarified this yet - but I think we're going to run the length of the model solar system on the cycle track - and back!!! It takes you from about Bishopthorpe to Riccall and back I believe.

I sadly couldn't afford to enter the Great North Run again this year.

More Editing

More editing and lining up the quotes this afternoon, while listening to the football.... Been thinking a lot about how to build up the characters too.

Still looking at an aim of finishing at the end of 2013 - although the important fact is that I'm always making progress, rather than a specific deadline for the end.

Editing Session

Manipulating a 300+ page word document is hard. Thankfully, there's good software packages out there that break it down and make it easier to order/structure etc... Aside from reviewing those, I've been working at editing the document in its current form, and typing up sections from scraps of paper I've made notes on. Quite time-consuming, but I'm gonna take a break for now, head out and do more later.

Storyline Tracker

Storyline Tracker

Done another one of these for myself, to assist me with the novel, and track the radio storyline so far.

RADIO STORYLINE-------------------------------

Done so far:

Page 12 – setting part 1

Pages 20-21 – setting context part 2
Pages 69-79 – Scene 1 build-up + scene 1

Pages 108-120 – Scene 2 build-up + scene 2

Pages 120-123 – Bit to go after final scene

Pages 130-142 – Sub-scene - middle bit and end bit missing
Needs new scene inserted in here

Pages 156-175 – Scene 4 build-up + scene 4. end bit missing

Pages 253-256 – Scene 5

Pages 259-262 – Scene 6

Still to do: scene 7 as final scene.

108,000 words

Working more on the love story angle today. 108,000 words. There's so much written now that it goes over 300 pages of A4 with a size 14 font. If I printed it out, I would be carrying round an enormous book already. But there is still many more bits I want to write to hit 200,000 words. I've been working to ensure the various storylines all flow and are connected properly - probably the biggest task of the entire work.

106,000 words

Written another reminiscing section to reach 106,000 tonight. A few people lately asking when the book is going to be finished. End of 2013 - which is what I estimated when I started writing, and is still my estimate now. That's if I finish, of course.

Developing dialogue

I've spent the middle part of the evening working on the book, developing the dialogue - in particular between my character and the lead character from the radio scenes, who is loosely called Andrew.

The great things about the characters' names is that I can change them, even at the last minute if necessary. Although it's nice to have them in place before-hand.

The relationship between Paul and Andrew has to, within a few scenes go from not knowing each other, to a deep and (obviously not sexually!) intimate friendship.... The challenge is to do this over only a few scenes, and trying to use the right conversations, questions, moments etc to make this happen.

Been working at allocating more of the quotes tonight too, and editing the most recent radio scene that I've written.

104,000 words

104,000 words.

I finished off the final counselling scene. It feels great to bring one of the storylines - the first one - to its natural end.......... although obviously there's still work to be done on it, like everything else.

I also wrote half of one of the scenes with the female character... I kind of wrote the description bit to it without the dialogue, which is good cos most of the dialogue I have a good plan for, so it's good to fit the description stuff around it.

York Museums

Ok, a slightly lopsided view of Medieval York - from the Yorkshire Museum.

I've been doing the tourist thing with Ali today. And the first time, I've been into the Castle Museum and Yorkshire Museum since I was a teenager. A great shame really considering they are quite pivotal parts of York.

The Castle Museum is vast and contains themes and memorabilia from Victorian and Georgian eras (including a Victorian Street representing the street Kirkgate that would presumably have run through that area)... the Castle Prison cells - the site was still a prison even in the 1920s, and was surrounded by a huge wall even in that era.... a Sixties section... and also surprisingly lots of modern items including a Game Boy, a modern toothbrush and a pack of Nurofen (seriously!!)(is that how our era is going to be remembered???)("In the early twenty-first century, the natives frequently suffered from headaches - as is demonstrated here - but as you can see, they would have had very clean teeth)

I suppose the Game Boy isn't modern.

The Yorkshire Museum is smaller, contains bits of dinosaurs, the most perfectly formed roman helmet, someone's hair from roman times(????), pairs of roman sandals to try on - that are presented in little cubicles like you find shoes in a bowling alley. I may possibly have dressed in a tunic and looked stupid. The museum also contains a surprisingly large theatre, a timeline of the ages of the city, and a woman who moans to you about her claustrophobia (actually I don't think she's always there)

Commentary

Great win for York City this afternoon!!!
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I'm excited about York City for two reasons lately....
1) The team Gary Mills has put together is amazing, and an incredible run of results in the league, considering we were looking relegation-material when he arrived. Really good to watch lately.
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2) Secondly, I'm going to be commentating on them, for York Hospital Radio. I'm incredibly excited about this...
It's a childhood dream of mine to commentate. ... When I was at school, I was never very good at football, despite making a half-decent goalkeeper. However, I loved playing it, loved watching it and was obsessed with it.... In fact, the best things in my life were all football-related.....
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I look back at old diaries I kept at the time - before this one lol - I look back with wonder, to see what was going on in my life at the time... What it shows - is not so much about people or events - and lots of comments like "Norwich won 1-0, Mark Robins great goal" and "Won Conference with Gateshead in Premier Manager" hahaha. That was what really mattered to me then! :-)
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I had a friend called Ben and I we used to go round each other's houses and pretend to be commentators and score updaters. Sometimes we would play a computer game - with one of us playing and the other one commentating.
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Like most boys, I wanted to be a footballer - and idolised footballers (e.g. Paul Gascoigne, Matt Le Tissier, Andrej Kanchelskis, Eric Cantona) - players with skill, magic and humility.
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Obviously I could never be a footballer, but with all my football knowledge and stats-gathering, I grew the fantasy of becoming a commentator. I listened religiously to any commentary of Norwich on Radio 5, as well as spending most Saturday afternoons listening to the radio as all the scores and updates came in. As I grew older, I grew an interest in how different radio stations put across the football, so I used to tune into all different stations for variety... and used to LOVE going to visit different cities so I could listen to their radio, read their local papers and get a completely different flavour and angle on things.
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I loved the commentator and what he was about. The way people reacted to him - and how it felt when he commentated on a goal or simply announced a change in scoreline. And also, how it provided a very unique experience compared to watching the game at the ground or on television. Whereas on the TV, the player brings the goal to you - on radio, that is the commentator's privilege.
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Being an active guy rather than passive, I always felt like I wanted to be in the commentator's shoes, and share the enjoyment I feel at matches. Thankfully, York Hospital Radio has taken a gamble on me and given me a chance to achieve that dream. My commentary debut is next Saturday - January 22nd.

Quotes and Scene Structure

Continuing allocating the quotes to places in the novel.
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It's giving me a really good idea of which of the dialogue scenes will stay, which ones need to be expanded on, and which ones (very few) may be scrapped.

103,000 words

103,000 words.

The other night, I met a guy who had written 150,000 lol. That seems and IS an absolute age away for me, but I still want to get there.

The counselling storyline is almost at an end. I am writing the last scene, and have just put in a section which precedes it and sets the scene for it. I am now at the stage where I can wrap up the counselling storyline (and bring it to a dramatic ending) in about 2,000 words.

Still matching quotes

This process of putting quotes into the various parts of the book is going to take a lot longer than I previously thought... but is definitely worth it...

The easiest ones are quotes which fit into the monologue sections, cos they just require a few sentences before or after. Nine pages worth of quotes I want to fit in, so its taking a long time planning where they all go, but it is very useful, as it helps clarify the scene structure of the book, and which scenes are so important they will have to stay in, and which scenes are less crucial to the plot, or maybe pointless.

I have a job

I'm still in my pyjamas and it's nearly 3 o'clock.

After two and a half months of searching, turning stuff down, failing at interviews and generally being an unemployed dosser, I now have a job which starts Monday.

Unemployment is weird cos you start to feel guilty for having loads of free time, yet it is free time that you would kill for when you're working lol..... So I started to enjoy it as much as I possibly could - and of course, am sad and will miss it.... Especially days like today, where I've spent most of the day lazing around.

The job which I passed interview at yesterday - is at the Higher Education Academy (sounds posher than it is!!) at the Science Park by York University. My mum works at the end of the sams street - in the Chemistry department for the uni - it's a lovely area of town, and there is a nice funky cafe on the corner by where I work. In some ways, I'm looking forward to getting back to work again - and I'm also looking forward to the nice long walk out to the Uni - especially on a fresh morning.

It's a finance/accounts role similar to some of the stuff I've done in the past, and it takes me up until the end of July - at which point it will be advertised as permanent - however the offer will be open to internal people first - so it's unlikely I will stay in the role :-(

Much of my spare time (which let's face it is a lot) lately has been spent supporting York City, and collating information and news etc about them for my forthcoming commentary position.

On Saturday, I travelled over to the game at Bolton with Pete, his brother and teenage son. City played brilliant - and compared to the Stoke game last year and the two recent Wembley finals, it was a great game... We were the better team, looked like causing a possible upset, and held them 0-0 until very close to the end when we conceded two late goals. It was a superb atmosphere and a great day out with around 5,000 supporters having made the journey across from York!!!

An enjoyable meal at the Fox and Grapes on the way back - but what was not quite as enjoyable was a drink in The Lighthorseman when we got back. Do not ever drink in The Lighthorseman. This happens. A really drunken guy sits next to you, and decides it is polite to interrupt your conversation to slag off the size of your nose. When you tell him to shut up, he decides the new topic of conversation should be slagging off the size of your mate's nose. Never go in The Lighthorseman.

On Tuesday night, I went to York v Grimsby which was another exciting game and another brilliant performance. Usually for York games we stand behind the goal fairly near to the back... so it was great to be stood right by the goal at the front. I much prefer that. City won 1-0 :-)

On Wednesday, I caught up with Simon back from University, and did my radio show.

Today, I'm heading into town - via an agency to show a copy of my passport, and the jobcentre to tell them I've found employment :-) :-) Finally.

Preparing quote sections

Been going through all the quotes to put in, and preparing them for their place in the novel. For some of them, I have to extend scenes - in some cases even write new scenes - some of them are already in, and some just need a couple of lines before them.

Work on Quote Allocations

Been working on the novel this afternoon.

All pieces of scrap paper with notes on are now typed up, and all messages in the Notes folder on both of my phones are typed up LOL

I now have two preparation files with ideas in. One has 6,100 words in... the other one, which deals mainly with quotes and for ideas on how they should be placed contains 2,400 words.

There are many different story quotes which I'm working hard to fit into the right areas. For each quote, I am trying to establish the exact scene it should be placed. And then work at the context it should be placed in and who says it. The context includes what should be said before or after it if necessary.

102,000 words

102,000!!!

Written 3 sections tonight.... first, finished off the section about my brother... then the other two sections are about the radio storyline... and are part of the climax to that storyline.. They are the second-to-last and third-to-last scenes in the radio storyline.

So all-in-all, very productive.

101,000 words

101,000.

Having re-connected with my brother at christmas time, I am writing this story into the book. I wrote 1,000 words or so about this in December and have added another 1,000 words today. With it being quite an incredible story, I figured it should occur in the book, more or less how it happened in real life.

I've also added a post-christmas feel to the book, kind of wrapping up the christmassy feel I'd put in earlier.